What if God asked me today to name one thing that I want Him to give me? The most obvious answer would be wisdom simply because King Solomon paved the way for us regarding that direction. But what if I chose to also be creative and honest with myself, that I should not choose that which I think I should ask of Him but that which I sincerely want? Would I choose happiness? And what is happiness, the absence of trials and tribulations or the peace and inner joy in the middle of storms? Would I choose a long life? Or for him to be with me forever? Would I choose a chance to travel the whole world?
What if I traveled the whole of Kenya? Would that satisfy my craving of knowing and experiencing the different cultures of Kenyan people? Would seeing the Dunga beach sunrise make me want to see Mandera sunset less? Would seeing Mount Kilimanjaro from Oloitokitok lessen my appetite for Chyulu hills? Would sleeping in a camp in Masai Mara demystify the Masai people for me? Would Lake Turkana surpass the beauty to behold that is Lake Baringo? Would learning how to say good morning in Sabaot be more exciting than Chonyi? But ultimately, would traveling the whole of Kenya and unraveling the mystery that this country and its inhabitants are, make the Chinese seem less mysterious?
What if I finally opened my Non Governmental Organization? And it helped give underprivileged people a sustainable source of income? What if it ended up achieving the dreams I have for people in arid and semi arid places? What more would I dream of? What do people do when they achieve their dreams? What would be my new goal? Take up another problem in society and try to solve it? Is that all there is to entrepreneurship? Solving problems, meeting demands and satisfying gaps in the market? Is that what all everyone in this whole world is trying to do? Solving each other’s problem and satisfying each others needs? Or are others busy making up the problems that will be solved by the other people?
What if I ended up getting my knight in shining Armour? Looking all handsome and filled with an excellent personality? His mind not on sportpesa, his heart hidden fully in God and his strength on reasonable things? What if I got a man who is not threatened by an intelligent mind, knows what he is after in this life and is not afraid of loving with the whole of his heart? What if I got a man who has a good fashion sense and has a collection of watches? What if this same man will not cheat nor disrespect nor leave all the house work to me? What if such a man out there actually exists? Does he cease to be man and become a small god simply because almost all men are not like him?
What if we all said enough of this heartbreak that is Kenya and went back to our chiefdoms and kingdom? Would we still greedily steal from each other? Would we still come out to the streets to demonstrate for mtu wetu when we now all belong to the same tribe? Would we miss each other? Would we now unlearn English and Kiswahili? Would our various governments still want to take away media freedom now that we are only villages away from each other? Nairobi would belong to which kingdom? Would people still fly for greener pastures abroad? Or would our various sates tie in position three for the most corrupt in Africa?
What if I actually wrote as much as I would like to? With each subsequent piece being better than the last? Would getting a million views make me glad? Would that change the simple fact that I write simply because I can and love to? Would I feel the pressure that comes with succeeding at something in the eyes of people? But what if all those times that I actually feel like writing I actually do write? What I wouldn’t give to learn the outcome of that!
What if I mastered the art of letting God take control? Of keeping in mind that it is never about me and has never been? What if with each morning, I reminded myself that the God who created Indian Ocean and Mount Longonot promises to be my strength and help for the day? What if I faced all my challenges in God’s name? Is there a better life than that really? Living knowing that an only son was sacrificed just for me? Everyone is always looking for love, this unconditional love that never fails. What if I walked talked and thought like someone who is loved way beyond her comprehension?
What if? What if? What if?