So what do we do now?

Today morning I found myself wondering, am I a nihilist? Do I find life meaningless? Utterly unsalvageable? Or is my inner system just utterly broken, and needs so much repair work for it to function? And for some reason this has reminded me of poets. The first poet was an editor friend of mine, who

Goodbye 26.

My partner was dissing astrology today on a light note. And it made me think about it. That regardless of what really happens out there in the world, that on a night like this, the stars aligned for my birth. And approximately nine months before, the stars had then again aligned for the beginning of

To live the life I want

To live the life I want, my life right now, as I know it , would have to change. I would first of all have to accept my dreams in their totality. Accept the call of the mountains. Accept the sound of rivers with my name on it. Accept River Congo and the fact that

Unless the tides change.

I miss bleeding in words. I miss the feeling after. Knowing that I’ve put my business out there, feeling too vulnerable with the world..and yet feeling safe. As if shame exposed doesn’t hold the same power. As if being vulnerable with the world is one little way to feel connected to it. To no one

The Prize.

Every time I am asked ” what do you regret?” My answer is always the same ” Worry. I worry too much”. I remember sitting with my therapist last year, as I went on and on about my confusion. I had either turned 25 or was about to. I didn’t know what I wanted out

This Song.

There is this song. Rhumba. Modern one, or is it called Lingala? Whatever it’s genre’s name is, it’s from Congo and it’s caught my attention. Like it started playing, and though I had heard it before, I had never watched it’s video till today, and for those 7 minutes, I was glued to the TV.

Polite

There are places I want to go. Places with raging waters, blue waters, calm waters, waters with houses built on them, waters that one can go underground to view their inhabitants, waters that I can slide from tens of meters above, waters so clear that I can see the pores of my skin, waters so

That little girl

I was going through this quotes app that I’ve used on and off since 2019. And it’s so interesting meeting that girl that I was  then. You know, I’ve always assumed that as the years go by, that I grow and become a better version of myself. That this year’s version of me is better

Tea

I want tea. Though I’m kinda avoiding it because I know I’ll take another cup at night. But it’s raining. And the hills around here are covered with clouds. A newcomer entering the town wouldn’t even see the hills since they are covered by dense rain falling. But this moment is perfect for a cup

And yet here I am

My previous birthdays found me in almost the same space. Hopeful that my life would take a better turn. Dreamy. With a full list of places I wanted to travel to and the books I wanted to read.  It was nice when I achieved some of those dreams. But at that point when I was