But you know what, I want it.

There is this spring inside of me. In my heart specifically. At the bottom or base. It feels really light. And its emitting happiness. And you know what’s amazing about this whole thing? That if there is one thing I wanted for 2019, besides the many that I did, was a deep seated kind of

For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive…‘ by Padma_theflower on Instagram. In the morning I saw a Caroline Mutoko’s clip. She was encouraging mostly men to use their 20s wisely. To work.

A life of joy.

I’ve really been looking forward to 2019. 2017 was the worst year I encountered. 2018 came with so much healing and unpacking to do. And for 2019, I wanted nothing but joy. At first I was scared to admit it. Because I sincerely don’t know what that looks like. I remember one day in therapy

The sound of my voice.

Unbridled. That’s the best description to give to the child in me, that is trying to come back. This is one of those situations in which common cliches like; we are our own worst( or is it best) enemies, kinda ring true. I say kinda because when an 18 year old willingly has an affair

..and watch the me that I create.

I was asked why I don’t hope in something some days ago. And I gave an honest answer. That I’ve tried that before and I didn’t get what I hoped for. I’ve wanted things so badly just to end up scarred so badly. I have believed in people just for them to turn around and