Life musings – Page 4

Is there home?

I’ve just discovered this musician on the internet. And his voice feels like its been wired to take me home to myself. Its so soothing, like it has penetrated into those crevices in my heart that barely have any light in them. And as i repeat his songs, in darkness, so that i can seeContinue reading “Is there home?”

Not running.

“What would your life look like, without the influence of your past?” She asked often. In more specific terms as time unfolded. And over and over, I’ve had to ask myself whether my actions are as a result of running away from my past, or actually genuinely me. It can be quite a tiring ride.Continue reading “Not running.”

Just one thing

I’ve closed my eyes, and trust you me, a street in New York could not have been busier. Lots of things running through. Little many things i’m supposed to do in 24 hours or so. And in the middle of that haze, it occurred to me, that I actually just have one thing i’m supposedContinue reading “Just one thing”

Newness.

It is in the familiarity of my naked body, that I feel the newness. The way it isn’t nudity any more. The way walking around, naked as the day I was born, feels as if I am clothed in what the universe thought as enough civility. Appreciating that this gorgeous vessel, gets to be calledContinue reading “Newness.”

Dryness.

I don’t know what exactly I miss. Is it the place, the people, or a feeling? Or it something i’m trying to project on it? Going home, always feels like traveling to a distant country. Where the rules of this one don’t apply there. Where time stops.. Where things remain the same. Where people greetContinue reading “Dryness.”

Seeking.

Child of the universe Belonging only to the stars Only to yourself You It One You have always been it Always been a wanderer on earth Seeking Searching Trying to catch a glimpse Reading Travelling Still seeking For what? Only your soul knows. And it knows in a language that you don’t speak A languageContinue reading “Seeking.”

You do it anyway

Go to it sad. Go to it afraid. Go to it trembling and unsure. Shake like a leaf. Stutter your way through it. Weak knee yourself through it. Butterfly-in-your-stomach through it. Get it wrong the first time. Try something new the second time. Grudgingly go through a third route. They lied. Dreams aren’t made fullContinue reading “You do it anyway”

Barber and the moon.

Today I went to look for that barber again. The new one who did my hair last time. I liked what he did and promised to come back next time. But I found him busy yesterday. And today when I went back, I didn’t find him. Despair. That’s what I felt. That all my usualContinue reading “Barber and the moon.”

Who am I?

If I were to describe myself, right now, at this point in life, this is what it would be. That I am a scholar. By birth. I didn’t choose academics, it chose me. That I can make a study out of anything on earth. Not forgetting that I can study anything, as long as IContinue reading “Who am I?”

Disposable

Disposability. The first time I learnt that I was disposable to my mother, was on my 11th Christmas on earth. We had closed school a little later than other boarding schools, and as such we couldn’t wait to catch up with play and relaxation after a whole year of school. I couldn’t really say theContinue reading “Disposable”