It is in the familiarity of my naked body, that I feel the newness. The way it isn’t nudity any more. The way walking around, naked as the day I was born, feels as if I am clothed in what the universe thought as enough civility. Appreciating that this gorgeous vessel, gets to be called home, for the many seconds I still have left on this earth.
It is in the way my mind handles matters, that I feel the newness brewing in. Calmly. First it observes it. It listens. Keenly. Attentively. Then even before it rushes to judge, it tries to understand. Seeks to understand. Then finally, it lets the matter rest. After all, not all matters require solving.
It is in the arms of lovers, that I see this new me. The ease of it. The way my whole self doesn’t struggle or ask a million questions or battle with fear of loss or what if. It is the way my body appreciates itself. Even in other’s arms. The way calmness seeps through every experience. At last, my soul is at peace with itself. And the outside world, always adjusts.
It is in the calm way we face challenges, that I get to appreciate this newness. The way there is no struggle. After all, it is either we solve the challenge or not. It is either we hit the deadline, or not. And if not, consequences shall be there. We shall deal with those too.
It is in the acceptance of how my life is unfolding, that I get to stare at this newness. Calling ourselves by our titles, letting the foreignness of it all let loose on our tongue, and then laughing, laughter drenched in amazement. That this is who we are now. A blessed fortune.
It is in the way we create room for newness each morning. Accepting that life as we knew it is forever gone . New chapters are seeping in barely unnoticed, its like they wait for the night, tiptoe in, and in the morning, we wake up with something new inside us.
It is in being asked if we are still suicidal, and we sigh, searching for words to explain that life in this new form, is worth a shot. The idea that I do not know how tomorrow will be, but if I want, I can shape it somehow to suit my fancy, is definitely interesting enough to want to stay around a little longer.
It is in alcohol. Ooh the beauty of loosing inhibitions, that sees us see ourselves anew even further.
It is in silence. In a heart bursting with things that can’t be expressed with words only. It is deep in the night when we wake up, and instead of cursing insomnia as we once did, we open a book, and summon enjoyment deep from our souls.
It is in all these, that we take in life anew. And the wonders of being born again. Second chances of life. Continuing life anew.
Mwende Kyalo 