You know about 3 years ago I didn’t like taking pictures? Like at all. Reason being, I didn’t think I had a good smile. So I always offered to be the camera man. Until I moved in with a classmate. And she couldn’t get why on earth I didn’t show off that gorgeous smile. With my mouth open. And from then onwards I’ve been taking countless photos. She gave me confidence in my teeth. And today in the morning, I was thinking about writing a piece here for that simple yet significant thing she gave me. I didn’t know what I would really write since as you can see, one paragraph has been enough for that story. So I shelved it.
The last thing I remember is braking the bicycle. Next thing I knew, my head was hitting the ground with such a huge impact. I was scared of getting up. I knew something was seriously wrong. I was biting a weird part of my teeth. My lip felt like it had split. My body wasn’t that hurt. But I knew something dreadful had happened inside my mouth.
The last time I had such a huge crash to my head, I got up from the ground with my front teeth slightly pushed forward and two of them cracked. People think my dentition is just that way, while in reality, its acquired.
Fast forward to today. Two white ladies came to help/look at me. They kept on asking me if I was okay. From their faces, I knew I was bleeding. So one gave me a pad to control the bleeding. And I slowly made my way to our bus. I wiped myself slowly. Dusted off the dust. All that was to keep off taking out my mirror for as long as I could. But I finally had to.
And I didn’t like what I saw at all! Two broken teeth. The upper ones to make matters worse. And as if that is not bad enough, the middle upper one standing next to the small white things left behind, is the longest tooth in my mouth. So you can imagine the kind of bunny I look like. I don’t know how I can go anywhere looking all this.
I felt as if my world had been shifted. People around me said sorry as much as they could. They helped where they could. But I felt as if their worlds should stop too. Like how are they not noticing how less beautiful I am? How do they laugh and life moves on while I go back with a different ‘sura’?
And amidst all that, I felt like calling my mother. Not my father, not my closest friends. But my mum. I called her like three times. I usually call once and she calls back if she didn’t pick up. But I wanted my mother. I took pictures for her. But I didn’t explain what was up. I wanted to talk to her. And I realized that despite how grown I am, my mum shall always be the one person a hurting me will call. And its supposed to be that way. She did pick up. And obviously worried as much as I did. Not because of how I look( I should be the only one worried about that), but because of the pain. Which isn’t a lot surprisingly. But the sensitivity is there.
I’ve spent the whole day worried that one tooth will come out. Its so shaky. Worried of how I will look in the future. The lady with the crooked teeth.
I don’t know whether I’ll ride bikes again. But I know that I will do fun activities over and over again. I wanted to rock climb some beginners rock we found there. But it required one to grip the ropes, and right now my right hand is incapacitated by some wounds. So i’ll put that off for next time. In simple terms, my new face changes nothing.
Not even positively. You know the way scars can either discourage you or give you motivation. I wanted to feel something about this wounds. Enyewe niko na roho ngumu. I felt neither regret nor motivation to continue daring. And I’m damn glad I don’t feel any regret. In my heart and mind, they seem to agree that accidents happen. And you dust yourself and move on. In my case, you see a dentist and apply Vaseline on the open wounds. And life moves on.
I don’t know whether this will matter two months from now. Nowadays I seem to have short term problems that are frequent and many. So I don’t know. And I don’t really care(or worry). All I want, is to see a dentist for the first time in my life. And to know if I’ll be “accepting” this new bunny look or if we can rectify a thing or two. So let’s wait and see.
Accidents happen. Even on bicycles.