I wrote this 3 or 4 months ago but never published it. But it goes hand in hand with what our yesterday’s sermon was. So here we go, let’s talk about doing. Just in case you are wondering, the sermon was titled” To do or not to do”. Don’t I love Pastor Steve! Anyway, enjoy the read and I hope it gets you thinking..to do or not to do? Do it for God.
Do you think believers(Christians) should date nonbelievers? I’m sure you have heard this argument before especially in christian youth forums. Followed by how far should you go physically with your boyfriend or girlfriend. After this follows a heated debate with everyone supporting their side. In high school I heard this debate over twenty times. And in all those times, i never found the answer. No one knew the answer but some thought they had. One group specifically told us how a lady in campus had gotten pregnant from making out only with their boyfriend. I guess their aim was to scare us into sexual purity. The other group allowed kissing. With some defending “brotherly/sisterly” hugs. People went far into describing how we should hug or kiss so as to remain still pure. We, means young christian girls as we were by then.
I grew up. I dated. Once, twice. And a fling there. None of those men was a devoted christian. None of them cared much about sexual purity or sex before marriage. I believe in no sex before marriage. But I quoted it “I’m not ready yet”. Saying I don’t believe in sex before marriage sounded old aged, old fashioned, un-millenial even. So I gave excuses on why I was not normal. On why I was denying them a basic need. But I compensated for it with kisses and making out.
I was okay with my spirituality and relationships. Until my last relationship almost an year ago. I was growing spiritually in bounds and leaps. Me and God got closer, while learning to trust in Him with my whole heart. But above that I was learning His character. His needs from me, what He desires for my life and actions. I started cover to cover. That means embarking on a journey to read the whole bible within a year. I was excited. I didn’t know Noah didn’t call people to help him build the ark as popular movies claim. I didn’t know Genesis mentions ” God’s Sons”. Yet I know Jesus is the only son. This gave me and my then boyfriend a lot to discuss on. We debated and argued constructively on the bible (remember he was not a devoted christian). But deep down in my heart, I started feeling disgruntled with my relationship. It was actually going on okay, we had even made it through a rough patch. Still I felt weird inside there. I broke up with him. We got back together. I prayed for God to direct my steps regarding my relationship. For a whole month I “struggled” with God.I was desperate for approval from God. Just to later realize that He had already answered me.
God is black and white people. He does not deal with a little gray here, some confusion there, some blurred lines in between. I first of all realized that God takes relationships very seriously. Not as casual as the world takes them. He takes commitment to a fellow human being very serious. But above that He takes marriages sacredly. Our relationship with God is equated to marriage so many times in the bible. God is Holy. He calls us to be holy. Not for fellow human beings. For Him and to Him. Keeping yourself sexually pure is not so that you can present it as a gift to your future spouse. No, it is so that Christ can present you to his father as a faithful bride(this includes men, the same way the bible calls the church the bride).
I got the answer on whether Christians should date un-believes in 2 Corinthians 6;14. God is very straight forward with these things. The bible says that the way to heaven is through Christ. What this means and it is something we all avoid to say is that those who don’t believe in Christ will go to hell. We avoid thinking that way, we avoid telling people that. Yet God sees it that way. Now imagine, you who is of the same spirit with God binding yourself with a person of the same spirit with Satan. 1 Corinthians 6;16, says that we become one with whoever we sleep with.
Now on how far we should go physically with our boyfriends and girlfriends, that question is an answer to itself. Do you remember when your mother used to tell you not to steal sugar? But she used to put it in tea,right? Because that is where sugar is supposed to be taken. Did any of you ever go ahead to ask, “how far is stealing sugar? If I just touch it, have I stolen it? If I just put it in my mouth and don’t let it dissolve completely, is that stealing? Is that allowed? If I stare at it longingly, there is nothing wrong, right?” By now you must see how the above questions don’t make sense. For some,those questions might have even earned them a beating. Because it is as clear as it is. There is no, a little making out is allowed(that is taking a little sugar and still claiming that does not qualify as stealing sugar).
God calls us to become like Christ. Where the standards changed and we started acting all similar is not known to me. But the more I grow spiritually the more I realize that one of God’s main purpose is to have people with Christ’s character in heaven. Yes, with all our different personalities and unique selves , but of same mind and spirit. God desires us to be like Christ. I have observed that when churches give talks on sexual purity, they relate it to marriage almost hundred percent. I beg to differ. People who wish to not get married and are not fathers or priest have a place in the church too an in maintaining sexual purity. Plus that might explain why people don’t feel that obliged to maintain sexually purity. Because in our heads we are doing it for the future spouse. And just being honest,that does not inspire me much. I fear God more than I respect man. Or rather there are lengths i would go for God, and cannot go for human beings. God does not call us to be like Christ for any man or woman’s benefit. It is for His own glory. If sexual purity was for the sake of a spouse, why would Christ maintain it and finally not get a spouse? Be accountable to God not man. Because by the end of the day, He will be the judge, and Christ will be the standard measure. Not your generation. Not your agemates. Not what your flesh desired. Not what answer those Christians forums told you is supposed to be done. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and bread of life. He is the our example. Christian means like Christ.
Previously I was too “afraid” to share such kind of a message publicly. What would people think of me? But I have reached that place where only God’s opinion matters. I am proud of the fact that i am aspiring to be like Christ everyday. And that means being the odd one out. That means stepping out of our generation and stepping in to His kingdom. That in extreme cases means death. How would they know if they do not hear? Paul asks. Plus just like that, Samaritan woman, I am too excited to not share the living water I have found with my whole town(that being you readers). I love clarity. There is freedom in knowing what God wants of you and going ahead to do it using His own strength. A lot of people emphasize on the way its not easy, true it isn’t. But what is??
But above all, do everything for the glory of God.
Do it for God.