My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Jesus died for me, that I understood from when I was young. He died to take away my sins. I got born again on the eighteenth of October 2003. I was eight years old by then. I did not completely understand all this salvation business but what I knew was enough to make the little me give my life to Christ. I was made to understand that unless I gave my life to Christ, I would go to hell and burn forever. To even bring the point home, the weekend challenge guys staged plays and showed us movies of rapture. I highly doubt if there was any single soul those guys did not terrify enough into getting born again.
From early on in life we were made to watch movies of Christ showing His life and death. When I was ten years old we, my primary school, watched the passion of Christ. I remember almost the whole school cried when Jesus crucifixion came into play. The whole flogging, mistreatment, ridicule and pain made even more students give their life to Christ knowing that He went through all that for us.
Fast forward to a decade later. I have tremendously grown in my spiritual journey. I have fallen over a thousand times and risen all those times. I have tasted and confess that God is good. I have preached to others in a bid to make them give their lives too to God. I have followed my own path and attest that it leads to destruction. I have allowed God to control my life and I thus know from experience the kind of peace Jesus was always talking about. I have argued and counter argued with Catholics, Muslims, pagans and atheists. I have fought for my faith the best way I knew how.
And yet I did not understand. There are questions I have that I have come to realise only God can and will answer them when I finally meet Him. But there are other questions that I have concerning my faith that I feel I’m supposed to be in the know. You know those times when you feel as though there is a missing piece of the puzzle that you have not figured out yet?
Jesus’ death. That is something I knew that I unless the spirit revealed it to me, I would forever be in the dark about. And I also knew that it is so important for my spiritual life that it cannot wait for heaven. In worship sessions when we are told to think of what Christ went through for us, I can never fully have my heart empathize with him. I have never understood how Jesus being flogged and beaten was something that another human being could not have done.
Now before you think I’m blaspheming, think about it and be sincere. In your entire life, have you encountered or heard of men (normal human beings) who have gone through a lot of physical pain? I’m sure you have. Now in comparison, was Christ’s pain exceedingly more than them? Maybe yes and maybe no. remember that there were thieves too crucified with Jesus. Again, have you heard, read about or encountered people who would die for the people they love? Maybe no but probability is that you have heard of somebody who could willingly die for their loved one.
So what so different about Jesus’s death? What was it about His death that saved us all? Was it the pain? A lot of people and media propagate that it is the pain. And that is where they lost me. For I knew that the pain Jesus went through, some other men had gone through worse. And today as I was reading ERNEST WAMBOYE’S blog I prayed that God would reveal to me what it is about crucifixion that I had not understood.
Now I understand, now I see. The crucifixion of Jesus has absolutely nothing to do with the physical pain. If somebody being crucified to death was what would bring salvation to humanity, then God’s son need not have come to earth in the first place. Jesus death was spiritual. God and Jesus are father and son. God was and is very fond of Jesus, they were very close. We, humans, on the other side were separated from God. And so Jesus dying symbolized God killing their intimacy. Their connection was broken. We replaced Jesus on the close side of God. We can now be called children of God and can call God father. While Jesus came up and took our side.
If Jesus’s crucifixion had anything to do with physical pain, then all the way to Golgotha, Jesus would be crying out “my feet, my head, and my back”. Instead Jesus cries out,” My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Because God gave Him up. Spiritually. God gave us the intimacy He used to share with His son. He gave up the connection he shared with Jesus for us. While Jesus took up our place. Would you give up your position in your mother’s heart for someone else? Maybe you would die for her or she for you, but would any of you forego that connection you share? Now that is what is different with Christ’s death. He gave up His position and standing with His father for us. For you and me.
Now I see.